Exploiting the visual potential of relationships
The viewer should gain the message that the definition of mass shootings dramatically effects how many mass shootings are recorded. The source and the word choice make a huge difference in what is counted as a mass shooting in the US.
In my first display I am exploiting the visual potential of relationships by using lines to connect the source to the defining words and the definition. The color of the lines make it clearer that the line is leading to the same color definition. I am also using lines to create a bracket to group together the definition and sources with the number of mass shootings.
In my second display I am exploiting the visual potential of relationships by creating a Venn diagram to separate the definitions with how many mass shootings there are associated with the definition. The colors represent the definition associated with the number of mass shootings in that color. The defining words in the overlapping circles represent that they are in both definitions. The colors signify this as well.
In the first display, the lines that are straight with a bend and dot at the end are featured in my visual language model. In the second display, the circles are the same with only a thick outline. In addition, the dotted line under the title is the same as my model. The font is the same for the section titles and body text as my typography model.
The colors are the same in both displays and follow my color model with the background color and three main colors of light/dark blue and red.
Critique
Ansul Sinha
For the first display Ansul saw a lot of colors. Her eyes were drawn to the right corner to the words "MASS SHOOTING". She next looks to the left column then the right column. After she has seen the entire display she tries to bring it all together but it requires me to explain more.
For the second display, she first sees the three big circles then the title. Since she already knows what the display is about she skips the description under the title but her eyes are drawn to that next.
Ansul preferred the second display because she thought it was easier to understand and more visually appealing with less text. She also thought it would fit better with my models.
Ansul thought the colors matched my color model but the proportion of the colors was a bit off. For example, the light blue is used less frequently in my color model but is highlighted in my second display. She mentioned that a legend could be used in my display like the first display on my visual language model. She said that the title and dotted underline was featured on my visual language model. The text matched my typography model.
Response to first critique
I changed the colors of the circles so that the proportion of colors match my color model more. Now the light blue is the smaller circle so that it appears less and is not highlighted. I chose not to do a legend because I want the eye to be drawn to the circles and have the heading right above the circles so that the viewer knows what they represent. In addition, a legend is only used once in my visual language model and headers above a circle are used frequently.
Andrew
For this critique I started with display #2 because it was easier to understand. Andrew worked his way down the display: started with title, read text, looks at the numbers above the circles, reads inside the circles. He is confused about what the display is about but gets close by understanding the circles represent the number of mass shootings that occur.
For display #1, Andrew starts with the title and looks through the sources. He is confused with the sheer number of lines and where they lead. He reads left to right and finally gets to the numbers.
Andrew prefers the venn diagram display (#2). He thinks the first display is crowded and harder to follow. He also says that the idea of the display is not focused on the sources so why include/highlight them.
For visual language, Andrew says that the title includes a "?" when mine does not but is in fact asking a question. He also mentions that the title is not very clear for what the display is. He says that the use of circles is accurate to my model but some circles are half filled. The letter spacing in the title is accurate to my typography model. The colors match my color model.
Response to second critique
I changed the title of the model to make it clearer what the display was about. Since it is not about how to define a mass shooting but about the varying definitions of mass shootings. I kept the circles solid because it makes more sense for the display and because there are full circles in the visual language display as well.
Liam
I also started with display #2 for this critique. For this display Liam is drawn to the rings and that reminds him of the olympics in terms of colors and overlap. He sees the text within the rings next then the title and subheader. After reading the subheader, Liam mostly grasps what is going on but makes some suggestions on how to change the text to make it clearer and mentions that the title could be more useful to the user.
For display #1, Liam reads the sources first then he "follows the lines sequentially from left to right to the middle stuff then finally the numbers". He is more confused with this display.
Liam prefers the display #2 because it is clearer. The font and size of the sources on display #1 are the same as the title and are misleading.
The use of circles, the title and the dotted line match the typography and visual language model. The use of the less than sign as opposed to percentages is different than my visual language. The colors match my color model and the fact that they are solid and not a lot of contrast.
Response to third critique
I adjusted the circle sizes to represent the number of mass shootings and to make the circles look less like olympic rings. I made the text inside the circles smaller so that the title looked larger and would draw the eye sooner. I changed the text in the subheader to resemble what Liam said and to make it clearer what the display represents. I chose to stick to the less than/greater than signs because percentages would not make much sense in my display.
The viewer should gain the message that the definition of mass shootings dramatically effects how many mass shootings are recorded. The word choice make a huge difference in what is counted as a mass shooting in the US.
In my second display I am exploiting the visual potential of relationships by creating a Venn diagram to separate the definitions with how many mass shootings there are associated with the definition. The colors represent the definition associated with the number of mass shootings in that color. The defining words in the overlapping circles represent that they are in both definitions. The colors signify this as well.
The sizes of the circles also show the relationship between the complexity of the words and the number of mass shootings.
I am continuing to follow my visual language model with the circles even though they are different sizes the thickness is still the same. I am continuing to follow my typography model by keeping all the fonts consistent with my model.
I am continuing to follow my color model by changing switching the red and light blue circles so that the light blue is less apparent since it is not used as frequently in my model.
Critique
Name of first critic
Revise this text to describe what the critic saw when they looked at your displays. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about which version they preferred and why. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about how you've emulated your models and where you've departed from them. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Response to first critique
After you've made your revised display, describe how you've responded to each of your critic's comments with your revision (if you decided not to make a change best upon a comment, explain why)
Name of second critic
Revise this text to describe what the critic saw when they looked at your displays. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about which version they preferred and why. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about how you've emulated your models and where you've departed from them. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Response to second critique
After you've made your revised display, describe how you've responded to each of your critic's comments with your revision (if you decided not to make a change best upon a comment, explain why)
Name of third critic
Revise this text to describe what the critic saw when they looked at your displays. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about which version they preferred and why. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
Revise this text to document what the critic said about how you've emulated your models and where you've departed from them. Make this text box as big as it needs to be to accommodate what you have to say.
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Response to third critique
After you've made your revised display, describe how you've responded to each of your critic's comments with your revision (if you decided not to make a change best upon a comment, explain why)
This text should be a reminder of the message you're conveying, or an explanation of the message if it has changed. It should also explain how this revised display is continuing to exploit the visual potential of relationships.
Revise this text to describe how your revisions are continuing to follow the visual language and Typography model
Revise this text to describe how your revisions are continuing to follow your color model